We All Poop (The Epic Ballad)
Lyrics
[Dramatic Rock Opera Intro, Melodramatic Solo Piano, Slow Heavy Timpani]
[Verse 1, Serious Theatrical Lead Vocals]
The screen is bright, the chat is moving fast
But nature calls a sudden, heavy blast
An old guy facing what he must confront
A epic struggle on the streaming front
The battle raging deep within his soul
He hits the pause... to claim the porcelain throne
[Pre-Chorus, Power Ballad Strings and Electric Guitar Swell]
The countdown runs, the lobby has to wait
As destiny unfolds behind the gate
But through the trial, the chat will never bend
A brotherhood of viewers to the end!
[Chorus, Epic Rock Opera Drop, Soaring Over-the-Top Vocals, Heavy Drums]
We all poop! If you act like you don't then you're just lying!
Don't act like it's gross cuz we all do it!
So smash that like button while the time is flying!
Send in the donos, we're gonna get through it!
Stick around, hold the line, the stream will return!
[Verse 2, Driving 80s Rock Beat, Heavy Bass]
The porcelain cold, the minutes ticking by
A solemn tear escaping from his eye
Here I sit, broken hearted, tried to shit but only farted
A tragic setback as the quest is started
But loyalty remains across the screen
The greatest chat the world has ever seen!
[Pre-Chorus, Building Intensity, Soaring Harmonies]
They drop the likes, the digital applause
Supporting their commander through the pause
The donos fall like rain upon the floor
As he prepares to walk back through the door!
[Chorus, High Intensity, Full Orchestral Rock Band, Max Passion]
We all poop! If you act like you don't then you're just lying!
Don't act like it's gross cuz we all do it!
So smash that like button while the time is flying!
Send in the donos, we're gonna get through it!
Stick around, hold the line, the stream will return!
[Bridge, Drums Drop, Operatic Solo Piano, Overly Melodramatic Vocals]
Oh, the vulnerability of the flesh...
Returning to the headset, clean and fresh...
The game awaits, the headset is in place...
A triumphant smile upon his face!
[Bridge Part 2, Ultimate Guitar Solo, Epic Power Climax, Full Band Explosion]
(Style: An absolutely massive, face-melting 80s electric guitar solo that feels way too epic for the subject matter.)
[Final Chorus, Maximum Power, Blazing Electric Guitars, Screaming Theatrical Vocals]
WE ALL POOP! IF YOU ACT LIKE YOU DON'T THEN YOU'RE JUST LYING!
DON'T ACT LIKE IT'S GROSS CUZ WE ALL DO IT!
SO SMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON WHILE THE TIME IS FLYING!
SEND IN THE DONOS, WE'RE GONNA GET THROUGH IT!
STICK AROUND! HOLD THE LINE! THE KING HAS RETURNED!
[Outro, Soaring Vocal High Note, Sustained Guitar Power Chord]
He is back on the stream...
Hit the like...
Send the donos...
Amen.
[Heavy Drum Crash Fadeout to Silence]
[End]