Don't Call Me Shirley

[Verse 1]

Listen buddy, not again with your white zone game

Can’t live with a man you don’t respect, it’s shame

Roger’s lost, Captain Oveur’s in control

Small voices whisper "Cream?" — Black’s the goal

[Pre-Chorus]

Wife says Jim won’t have a second cup at home

Sick lady throws up, stomach’s a cyclone

Elaine’s in the hospital, questions all around

Doctor’s got the virus news, grim and profound

[Chorus]

Don’t call me Shirley, I’m serious as can be

Flying blind through chaos, this madness we see

From rashes to drooling, it’s a carnival ride

Hold on tight, this plane’s gone off the slide

[Verse 2]

Doctor lays it down—fever, rash, muscle spasms flare

Digestive system collapses, flatulence fills the air

Elaine asks softly, "Can anyone fly this plane?"

Doctor stresses urgency, "Don’t call me Shirley again!"

[Pre-Chorus]

Striker’s disbelief is met with firm command

Sky’s full of tension at the doctor’s demand

Radar’s up and down, an asshole in the sky

Johnny’s unplugging lights with a mischievous eye

[Chorus]

Don’t call me Shirley, I’m serious as can be

Flying blind through chaos, this madness we see

From rashes to drooling, it’s a carnival ride

Hold on tight, this plane’s gone off the slide

[Bridge]

Captain Oveur jokes of Turkish prison bars

While the plane bounces near the gates and stars

Announcer chimes in, gate numbers overflow

Flight 209’s rocking, nowhere safe to go

[Chorus]

Don’t call me Shirley, I’m serious as can be

Flying blind through chaos, this madness we see

From rashes to drooling, it’s a carnival ride

Hold on tight, this plane’s gone off the slide

[Outro]

Doctor’s final words echo on the landing strip

Good luck to all, from this sinking ship

Hold your breath, and pray it’s true

Don’t call me Shirley — I’m telling you!