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[Verse 1]
Listen buddy, not again with your white zone game
Can’t live with a man you don’t respect, it’s shame
Roger’s lost, Captain Oveur’s in control
Small voices whisper "Cream?" — Black’s the goal
[Pre-Chorus]
Wife says Jim won’t have a second cup at home
Sick lady throws up, stomach’s a cyclone
Elaine’s in the hospital, questions all around
Doctor’s got the virus news, grim and profound
[Chorus]
Don’t call me Shirley, I’m serious as can be
Flying blind through chaos, this madness we see
From rashes to drooling, it’s a carnival ride
Hold on tight, this plane’s gone off the slide
[Verse 2]
Doctor lays it down—fever, rash, muscle spasms flare
Digestive system collapses, flatulence fills the air
Elaine asks softly, "Can anyone fly this plane?"
Doctor stresses urgency, "Don’t call me Shirley again!"
[Pre-Chorus]
Striker’s disbelief is met with firm command
Sky’s full of tension at the doctor’s demand
Radar’s up and down, an asshole in the sky
Johnny’s unplugging lights with a mischievous eye
[Chorus]
Don’t call me Shirley, I’m serious as can be
Flying blind through chaos, this madness we see
From rashes to drooling, it’s a carnival ride
Hold on tight, this plane’s gone off the slide
[Bridge]
Captain Oveur jokes of Turkish prison bars
While the plane bounces near the gates and stars
Announcer chimes in, gate numbers overflow
Flight 209’s rocking, nowhere safe to go
[Chorus]
Don’t call me Shirley, I’m serious as can be
Flying blind through chaos, this madness we see
From rashes to drooling, it’s a carnival ride
Hold on tight, this plane’s gone off the slide
[Outro]
Doctor’s final words echo on the landing strip
Good luck to all, from this sinking ship
Hold your breath, and pray it’s true
Don’t call me Shirley — I’m telling you!